From showers to bachelorette parties, here are some new takes on our favorite female gatherings. Between dress shopping and the wedding day, there’s a long list of to-dos for your attendants to tackle. The most important job? Planning your shower and bachelorette party. 
Unless you have some experienced bridesmaids on your team, they’ll need a crash course in party planning basics. Relieve stress by sharing these helpful tips and encouraging them to make it unique with fun, new party ideas. (Hint: this is also the perfect opportunity to let them know the kind of bash you would like.) And don’t forget to return the favor with a great bridesmaid luncheon.
The Bridal Shower
A few months before the wedding, the bride’s closest friends and family gather together and shower the bride-to-be with gifts. What was once seen as a stuffy ladies lunch has become a fun send-up to the wedding day — racy lingerie included. While couple’s showers are gaining in popularity, it’s more common to limit the guest list to just the girls.
Who pays: The maid of honor traditionally hosts the shower, but the cost is typically split among the members of the bridal party.
Who’s invited: It’s up to the bride. Typically, her closest female friends and family, as well as the groom’s mom, sister, and close family members. Etiquette deems that everyone invited to the shower should also be invited to the wedding.
Easy theme: Cocktail party
What it is: A more relaxed, nontraditional shower in the evening that’s set up more like a classy cocktail party.
Planning tip: Have an emergency plan B, just in case you’re inviting a diverse crowd and the socializing doesn’t pick up right away. Try this simple icebreaker: place boxes of Trivial Pursuit cards around the room and encourage guests to ask each other questions.
Potential pitfall: An old-fashioned mother of the bride may not feel comfortable in this swanky setting. Figure out a way to involve her — she could perhaps choose the menu.
The Bachelorette Party
Break the ice by having a lesson from a master mixologist. You can hire a bartender to show everyone how to make a perfect martini, or do a tasting to pick a signature cocktail to serve at wedding. Most brides treat bachelorette parties as a way to bond with their best friends, instead of a last night of freedom. So naturally, anything goes: Spa soirees, dancing nights, and destination parties are extremely popular, especially when bridesmaids are scattered all over the country.
Who pays: All attendees should split the bride’s costs for meals, drinks, and other charges. If things get pretty pricey (say, plane tickets are involved), it’s okay to ask the bride to pay for some of her share or just her travel expenses.
Who’s invited: Again, the bride should always provide the guest list. It’s usually best to keep this party small — definitely under 20. If the mother of the bride wants to be involved, plan multiple events, like dinner followed by drinks, so she can be included in the early part of the evening.
Easy theme: Destination party
What it is: The bride and her girls take an out-of-town vacation to do a little female bonding. Many hotels and resorts actually offer packages for party groups, from suite upgrades to dinner and drink specials and spa services.
Planning tip: Assign each maid a travel task: one should research airfares, one hotels, another should make dinner reservations, and so on.
Potential pitfall: This type of trip can get expensive fast, so get all the girls on board with the idea. You never want to alienate a member of the bridal party who may not have the means to travel too far. If that’s the case, try a weekend away within driving distance to save cash but still feel like you’re on vacation.
The Bridesmaid Lunch
During the weekend or on the day before the wedding, the bride hosts a tea or luncheon for the bridal party. It’s optional, of course, but it starts the wedding weekend off on a truly appreciative note. This is one girls’ gathering that tends to be more traditional. Flavorful teas and dainty finger sandwiches are hip, and who doesn’t like to put on a pretty, girlie dress?
Who pays: The bride hosts this party to thank all of the girls for their hard work helping her plan the wedding. It’s also the perfect time to present them with their bridesmaid gifts.
Who’s invited: The maid of honor, bridesmaids, and sometimes the mother of the bride and mother of the groom.
Easy theme: Pampering party
What it is: If you want to be less traditional, consider treating your maids to a full day of beauty. Many spas offer bridal party packages where you and your girls can enjoy manicures, pedicures, and stress-relieving massages. Depending on the spa, you may be able to bring in lunch and champagne, or the staff might even be able to coordinate everything for you.
Planning tip: Make sure there are enough technicians on hand — you don’t want to spend seven hours at the spa waiting on each person.
Potential pitfall: If you’re getting massages or treatments that land you in separate rooms, you might not get to spend the quality time you had hoped for with your girls. Call a few spas before you make the appointments and ask how they accommodate larger groups.
Photo: Ericka McConnell